How To: Sympathy and Condolence Cards
As most of you know by now, I aim to keep most of the topics I choose to discuss across my platforms positive, uplifting, and empowering. However, there are some aspects of etiquette that although may seem less glamorous than others, are so important to be touched upon.
Navigating conversations around the etiquette of grief and sympathy and/or condolence cards are one of those topics that should not be ignored. Below, you will find some guidance for this type of correspondence.
Always name the person
When you are offering your condolences in your card, be sure to be personal and specific by naming the deceased or the person’s relationship to them.
Incorrect: I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Correct: I am deeply sorry for the loss of your uncle Robert
What NOT to say or write:
“They are in a better place.”
“You are so strong.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
“I understand how you feel.”
“They lived a long life.”
“They would want you to find peace.”
“Let me know if there is anything I can do.”
What to say or write:
“I am deeply sorry for the loss of your ___.”
“_____ will be deeply missed.”
“I am praying for/thinking about your family.”
“I am grateful to have known them.”
“I am here for you.”
“My favorite memory of your loved one is...”
“Please let me know if Wednesday or Friday will be a better day to drop dinner off at your doorstep.”
Addressing the card:
Address the card to the person/people you are closest to. You can always add “and family” as a kind gesture. If you were closest to the deceased, the card can be sent to the closest living relative(s). When sending a sympathy card to a widow, it best to continue addressing her as “Mrs.”
Example Card:
Dear James,
I am deeply sorry for the loss of your grandmother. I am so grateful to have known her kind heart and incredible sense of humor. I will always honor her incredible legacy. Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this incredibly difficult time.
With all my love and deepest sympathy, Kelly
Tip: Mark death anniversaries in your calendar so you can check up on a friend or family member in the coming years. It may be when they need it most.
Photo Credits: Leif Shop