A Guide to Giving and Receiving Host Gifts
Photo credits: Flickr via Pinterest
You know how the old saying goes: “Don’t show up to someone’s home empty handed!” Did you know that there is actually a correct way to go about what to give as a host gift and how? Do you have to send a thank you note when you receive a host gift? What should you get someone for a host gift? I have all of the answers to your host gift giving and receiving questions in today’s blog post.
How to be more thoughtful in giving a host gift
Bringing something is obviously better than bringing nothing. I want to ensure I stress this point before I start getting a bit nitpicky about exactly what you should and should not bring. Our goal with a host gift should be to convey joy and gratitude towards our host, and to not give them any more work than necessary.
Here are the top three things you should avoid bringing as a host gift in a certain form, plus the slight tweaks you can make to make them an acceptable gift.
Food
Think about how much work your host has put into preparing their event! Whether that be a casual Friday evening drop-by or an elaborate New Year’s Eve Party, it is likely your host put some level of planning and strategy into their menu. If you are bringing food that you were not previously asked to bring, it gives the host extra work by having to fit that dish into their original plan. Now, you may be saying, “How is this that big of a deal?” (And I hear you!) There are far worse things we can worry about, trust me, I know. Think about it this way, your loved one has planned a wonderful birthday dinner for their partner. They put so much time and effort into planning a wonderful menu and preparing an italian themed meal as that is their partner’s favorite. By bringing a side dish that may need to be heated up, transferred to a serving dish, and/or has nothing to do with the rest of the menu, it actually adds more work for your host! Additionally, you may not be aware of a certain allergy that your host has been conscious of when preparing the menu or food.
The exception to this is, of course, if you and your host have discussed bringing something ahead of time and they are able to factor that into their planning. If food is your love language, try bringing them something they can enjoy for breakfast the next morning, nicely wrapped and accompanied by a note.
Tip: If you have arranged to bring a side dish to contribute to the event,Wine/Alcohol
One of the reasons wine and alcohol are on this list is similar to why food is also on the list: You don’t want to give your host more work by springing something on them that they did not plan for. The second reason to avoid bringing wine or alcohol, especially if you do not know your host well, is that you may be entering the home of someone who is sober or choosing not to drink alcohol. If you have already discussed bringing something to contribute to the party with your host, then that’s a different story!
Now, if you know your host well enough to know their favorite bottle of red, opt to bring it in a gift bag with a card so it is obvious that it is a gift for them to enjoy at a later time, and does not need to be served at the event.Flowers
Flowers can be a beautiful gift for your host if given correctly, of course! First things first, make sure you know your host well before you bring flowers.
Three additional things I want you to remember about giving host gifts:
The gift is way more about the gesture than the monetary value. Don’t underestimate something homemade or DIY. You do not need to spend a ton of money on a host gift for it to be special.
Etiquette is situational. The type of host gift will certainly depend on the event and the relationship you have with the host. If you have dinner at your Aunt’s house every Sunday, you are probably not bringing a host gift every time, but when your Aunt throws her big Christmas party, you may!
If you are bringing a side dish or dessert to contribute to an event, I would still recommend bringing a small host gift as a thank you.
At this point, you are likely saying to yourself, “Well then Mariah, what DO I give as a host gift?” Don’t worry, I have you covered! If you’ve been here for a while you know I create an updated host gift guide about two times a year. Here is OSE’s most recent one!
Tip: Have a few backup host gifts on hand so you don’t have to scramble when you are invited to something at the last minute! I always keep extra cocktail napkins and beautiful stationery on hand!
How to graciously receive a host gift
Q: Do I have to open someone’s host gift right when they give it to me?
A: No! Typically in western culture we want to open a gift in front of the gift giver, but host gifts are an exception to this.
Q: Do I have to serve the food or wine someone brought with them?
A: This will be situational. You are certainly not obligated to. If someone brought a bottle of wine, there is nothing wrong with saving it for the future. It’s supposed to be a gift after all. If someone brought a dessert you were not expecting, you may consider just adding it to the dessert spread.
Q: Is sending a thank you note for a host gift necessary?
A: Technically it is not as the host gift served as a “thank you,” and you would not necessarily send a thank you note for a thank you note/gift. With that being said, if someone gave you something truly thoughtful and special, it never hurts to send a note.
