The Etiquette for Handling Allergies and Dietary Restrictions

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Allergies and dietary restrictions are extremely important things to consider whether you are hosting an event or attending an event from both a safety perspective and an etiquette perspective. Before we jump into discussing important etiquette points to consider as both the host and the guest, we must truly define what we are working with here. What is the difference between an allergy or dietary restriction and a preference? A true food allergy, intolerance, being vegan, and celiac disease, are all examples of what would fall under the category of an allergy or dietary restriction. This is where it would be appropriate for you to make your host aware of your restriction, or as the host, take it into consideration when planning your menu. A preference would be not liking fish, eating less sugar to lose weight, etc. This would not be appropriate to notify your host of nor would it be necessary as the host to consider for your menu. Understanding the difference is imperative so people’s health conditions and risks are taken seriously, and so our hosts are not accommodating what can feel like hundreds of preferences! 

Now, how do we accommodate our guests with allergies and dietary restrictions? Let’s dive into the important etiquette points to consider as the host…

For the host 

With formal gatherings such as a wedding or charity gala, you will typically see the host handle inquiries about allergies and dietary restrictions via the RSVP method. You can simply leave a space with the RSVP where guests can indicate their restrictions. Whether it be a traditional response card or digital style of replying, it’s pretty straightforward and standard to ask your guests this way. Now, if you are hosting a less formal gathering where perhaps guests were invited via text message, evite, or email, you can simply ask your guests at the end of your invitation or when they let you know whether or not they will be attending. 

Informal Invitation Example: Good Morning, Jenny! I am having a small get-together next Friday, March 15th at 6pm for my birthday. My address is 123 Main Street, and you can park on the street out front. Please just bring yourself as I will have all of the food and drink covered. Please let me know if you have any allergies or dietary restrictions I should be aware of. I hope you are able to make it! - Paul 

You’ve collected your guests dietary restrictions and allergies, now what? If you are hosting your event at a venue, you will want to notify the venue staff of this list as soon as possible so they can plan accordingly. This is where place cards and seating charts will come in handy no matter how informal of an event it may be. This way, your venue will know ahead of time who is sitting where and can take extra precaution when serving certain items. This will put you at ease as the host knowing you have taken the necessary measures to keep your guests safe and happy. If you are hosting at your home, you will need to consider your guests’ restrictions when planning your menu whether you are cooking or having it catered. If someone has a life-threatening allergy, it would be best to leave that food out all together. If one of your guests is vegan, you do not need to make every single dish vegan as long as your guest has a few options to enjoy. 

Let’s go on to answer some of your questions about allergies and dietary restrictions for the guest…

For the guest 

Q: How do I let my host know that I have an allergy or dietary restriction?
A: If you are invited to an event via a formal invitation, there may be a space for you to indicate your restriction. If not, you will need to contact the host of the event directly. If someone invites you to a less formal gathering, you can let your host know with your response if they do not ask upfront. While your host should inquire about this, it is also equally your responsibility to notify your hosts. 

Example Verbiage: Hello James! Thank you so much for the invitation to your summer barbeque. I would love to join. I want to kindly let you know that I have a severe shellfish allergy. Please let me know if there is anything I can contribute to the barbecue! 

Tip: If you are going to a venue for an event, it is important that you let your servers and venue staff know of your allergy even if your host notified them prior to the event. You can never be too careful! 

Q: If we are asked to bring a side dish or dessert to someone’s party, is it our responsibility to accommodate the other guests dietary restrictions or allergies? 
A: I would definitely recommend asking your host if any guests have a severe, life-threatening allergy. If that is the case, I would leave this out all together. If not, you do not need to worry about it as it is likely the host will have other options for that guest (or they should at least!). 

Q: If I have a dietary restriction, should I offer to bring something that I can eat? 
A: I always recommend offering to bring something when you give your reply. Now, your host may refuse your offer in which case you would want to respect that. If your host ends up taking you up on your offer, you can absolutely bring something that fits into what you can eat!

Q: What do I do if a certain food is being served that is not an allergy or restriction, but I already know I truly do not enjoy it. 
A: If you are at a less formal gathering where the food is served buffet style or family style, you can simply skip over that food that you do not enjoy! Remember, nothing will be a big deal until you make it a big deal. Now, if it is a more formal setting you can give it a try, or stick to eating the other items on your plate. Don’t feel pressured to eat something you know you don’t enjoy. However, if you’ve never tasted it before, give it a try! 

My hope is that this blog post puts enough emphasis on the importance of being aware of, respecting, and accommodating allergies and dietary restrictions while providing etiquette tips for how to handle various situations related to them. Thank you for reading, and see you next week!