Compliments: How to Give & How to Receive
“Compliment: A polite expression of praise or admiration” ~Oxford Dictionary
I want you to think back to the last time you received a sincere and kind compliment. Aren’t you smiling just thinking about it? I am a firm believer that when we see something good in someone, we should tell them. “Adore out loud” as they say. Compliments, when given and received correctly, are a lovely way to bring joy to both the receiver AND the giver. They are an easy way to spread kindness, and can even help give people a boost of confidence they may need, When looking at compliments from the lens of an etiquette coach and enthusiast, there are some things we want to pay close attention to when both giving compliments and receiving them. Let’s discuss…
Giving Compliments
When you are giving a compliment, there are two main things to consider:
The compliment is sincere
If you are choosing to give someone a compliment, it should be kind, sincere, and from the heart. It should not be backhanded, and it should not be given with an ulterior motive like trying to find out some kind of information. The point of a compliment should simply be to take time out of your day to let someone know that you recognize something positive in them in order to uplift them. That’s it!
The compliment is appropriate for the time and place
All compliments should be appropriate, period. When we think about giving compliments in the workplace, we want to be mindful of complimenting on one’s appearance directly as we can’t always predict how people will receive a compliment despite how pure and genuine your intentions might be. Unfortunately, appearance-based compliments can get tricky when it’s not geared towards someone you have a close relationship with. Think of it this way: “That dress is beautiful! I love the color,” instead of, “You look gorgeous in that dress.” Either way, you are giving a compliment which will be sure to brighten their day, but you are taking the safer route at a time and place where that may be most appropriate. You never want your good intentions to be received in the wrong way, and this is a great tweak to ensure this doesn’t happen. Another method you can use if you are unsure is to focus on compliments that have nothing to do with appearance! Here are a few to put in your back pocket…
Compliments that do not have to do with appearance:
I admire how passionate you are about your work.
I am so inspired by you.
You are so resilient.
Your energy is uplifting.
You are the hardest worker I know.
You are such a dependable and loyal person.
I look up to you.
I truly admire how well you handled that.
You are such a wonderful friend. (parent, aunt, daughter, etc.)
You did an excellent job on your presentation today.
You have the kindest heart.
You have the greatest style.
I really admire your confidence.
You are so talented at what you do.
Receiving Compliments
The way in which we receive compliments can say a lot about our confidence. We are often quick to respond to a compliment with some method of downplaying it in an effort to display our humility. The best way to receive a compliment is simply to say “Thank you!” That’s it! If you want to say more than “thank you,” you can add something along the lines of, “That is so kind of you to say,” or “You made my day!” If someone tells you they admire how well you handled something, rather than saying “Oh, thank you, but I don’t think I handled it so well,” you can say, “Thank you. It means so much to me that you think so.”
And there you have it! A guide to giving and receiving compliments. Now, go out in the world and aim to give a few sincere compliments each day. Your small act of kindness will likely carry some true power. :)
