Five Common Table Setting Mistakes to Avoid
People ask me all the time if I catch many etiquette mistakes when I’m out in the wild! The simple answer is absolutely. Something you may not know about me is that I do not offer any etiquette related advice or make any corrections when I am not working, unless someone asks me for my opinion. I teach etiquette to empower, not to correct. With that being said, I surely spot many place setting mistakes while I am out and about. :) Table settings and dining etiquette are two of the more technical aspects of etiquette. Things are more black and white when it comes to the dining table, whereas most social etiquette situations are often very gray.
Why does it matter if we set the table correctly, you may ask. Well, what is the purpose for any rule, guideline, or expectation that is put in place for anything? It levels the playing field and puts people at ease by providing a sense of “knowing” what to do. Table setting and dining etiquette guidelines allow hosts and guests to be able to “know” what to do at the table so they can focus on the true purpose of the meal: connecting with others and building relationships. A thoughtfully set table also shows your guests how much you care about having them at your home for a meal.
Top 5 Common Table Setting Mistakes
The table is “overset”
This is probably the most common mistake I see of them all! A place setting should match back exactly to what is being served during that meal. You should only be setting the table with things you and your guests will need to enjoy the meal. There is no need for extra utensils or glassware. If you are not serving soup, your place setting would not require a soup spoon. If you are serving gelato for dessert, your place setting would not require a dessert fork. All place settings will look a bit different for this reason and that is perfectly okay! When in doubt, go course by course, and only set what will be needed for each one. We work from the outside in with multiple courses.The knife blades are facing outward
A knife’s blade should always face inward whether it is set on the table or resting on the plate during or after a meal. This stems back to Medieval times when facing your knife blade outward was a sign of aggression toward the person sitting next to you. We set our knives on the table with the blades facing inward to show respect and to keep ourselves safe when reaching for other things…despite how you may feel about the person seated to your right.Your centerpieces are too high
Centerpieces are a beautiful way to add a special touch to your table. With that being said, you don’t ever want your centerpiece to block conversation! Less is more!Your utensils are set on the wrong sides
Regardless of whether you and your guests are right-handed or left-handed, the proper placement of your utensils is forks on the left (fork has four letters, left has four letters) and knives and spoons on the right (knife and spoon have five letters, right has five letters.) The exception to this is a seafood fork and occasionally a pastry fork (not during a full meal) that would be set on the right as these forks are typically used with our dominant hand, and place settings are primarily geared towards right handed individuals. (Lefty here!)You are using flowers and candles with a strong fragrance as a part of your table decor
You don't want anything on your table to interfere with the smell of the delicious food you will be serving. If you do choose to use flowers or candles as a part of your centerpiece or table decor, opt for ones with little to no scent. Remember, candles should be saved for evening meals.
And there you have it, the most common table setting mistakes that I catch as an etiquette coach. Remember, the most elaborately, over-the-top, set tables are not the most correct ones!
