Overnight Guest Etiquette for The Host and The Guest
Photo credits: I Love Lucy
You would not believe the amount of times someone will send me a message asking “Should I strip the bed or make the bed when I am finished with my stay at someone’s home?” I figured there is no better time than the present to dedicate a blog post to overnight guest etiquette! Having someone stay at your home can be a wonderful way to create special memories between friends or family. There are some things we want to be mindful of on both ends so the stay results in a success for all parties involved.
We will cover the important etiquette points you don’t want to miss from both the guest’s perspective and the host’s perspective. I am hopeful you will find the answers to your overnight guest etiquette questions like: How can I make my guests feel more at home? How do I tell someone I don’t want them to stay with me? And finally, to strip the bed or not to strip the bed?
Let’s begin with guests…
Etiquette tips for being an overnight guest at someone’s home
Communicate clearly with your host
Clear communication upfront is so important! Ensure you understand how long your host is inviting you to stay, and let them know in advance how long you plan to stay. This will ensure there are no misunderstandings down the line. Stick to what was discussed. Be punctual, and do not overstay your welcome.
Don’t show up empty handed
Bring a small gift for your host to display your gratitude! Here is OSE’s most recent host gift guide.
Be tidy and helpful around the home
Clean up after yourself throughout your stay. It is a simple way to convey your gratitude and respect to your host. Don’t leave all of the cleaning for the end! Offer to lend a helping hand around the home whether that be cleaning up after a meal, offering to take out the garbage, or something else. Always offer before you start doing or cleaning anything in someone else’s home. If the host insists they do not want or need help, it is best to respect their wishes.
Be flexible
Remember that you are entering someone else's space. They may do things differently in their home than you do in yours. You don’t have to compromise your needs, of course, but be mindful of respecting the way your host and their family function inside the comfort of their own home.
Leave the room you stayed in clean and well-kept when it is time for you to leave
Aim to leave the room you stayed in looking just as good as it did, if not better, than it did when you arrived. Empty your garbage, return anything you may have moved back to its original place, and gather your used towels and linens. Now, the big question: To strip the bed, or not to strip the bed? Simply ask your host what they prefer!
Follow up with a proper thank you
Handwritten is always best. :)
Now, let’s move on to etiquette tips for the host…
Hosting overnight guests
The key to hosting overnight guests is to have them feeling as comfortable and at ease as possible. Much of this comes from how you communicate, what you prepare in advance, and what you make easily accessible to them while they enjoy their stay at your home. Here are a few things to consider…
Clear Communication
Let your guests know upfront how long they are able to stay with you. If you have any previous commitments or responsibilities to tend to while they are visiting, let them know ahead of time. Clear communication will help avoid any misunderstandings.
Things to have on-hand
The little things go such a long way. You want your guests to feel welcome and comfortable staying with you. A simple way to communicate this to your guests is to ask them what they like to eat and drink in the morning and if they have any allergies or dietary restrictions prior to arriving. This way, you can have their favorite coffee creamer on hand. Is there anything better than drinking your morning drink exactly (or close enough to) the way you would at home?
Welcome Basket
A thoughtful host will anticipate their guests’ needs, and then make the things to fill those needs accessible. A simple way to do this is to create a welcome basket and place it in the room or space where they will be staying. Now, you don’t have to go out and purchase a bunch of new things. Use what you have! Here are some things to consider adding to your welcome basket:
Extra towels
Extra blankets
Over the counter medications (pain relievers, anti-acid, gas pills, etc.)
Travel size toiletries
The wifi information
Bottled water and snacks
Magazines
Anything indulgent for a special touch such as a pillow spray, pair of fuzzy socks, etc.
Makeshift Breakfast Bar
Creating a makeshift breakfast bar will put your guest at ease if they wake up earlier than you or anyone in your household. A makeshift breakfast bar may have easily accessible coffee (with instructions for the coffee maker), tea, and non-perishable breakfast snacks such as fruit or granola. This will tie your guest over while they wait for you to wake up, and they can enjoy their morning coffee without feeling like they are rummaging through your kitchen. Remember, the theme here is easily accessible!
Now, how do you handle a situation where you have a friend or family member visiting from out of town, they assume they will be staying with you, but you don’t want them to for whatever reason? The reasoning may be that they have been disrespectful guests in the past, or perhaps it is simply not the right season for you to host overnight guests. Here is my 3-step formula for how to tackle this conversation directly, but with consideration and kindness.
Open on a positive note
Deliver the “no” with a valid reason. Be honest here (without insulting them) so you don’t run into a bigger issue later. You can be vague by saying it’s not the right time to host guests, or, you can be honest if you have a reason like your home is under construction or someone is dealing with health issues.
Acknowledge that this is likely a surprise or disappointing (especially if they have stayed with you before), and offer to help with an alternative solution.
Example: “We are so excited that you are coming to town! While we would love to have you stay with us, we have a lot going on at home at the moment and it is not the best time for us to host guests. Let me work on a list of hotels in our neighborhood to make it easy for you to choose one. We will certainly have you over for plenty of meals and I will set up some activities for us to do all together while you are here!
I hope this answered your overnight guest etiquette questions. Remember, it’s all about what we can do as a host to make our guests feel welcome, at ease, and cared for, and as a guest it’s all about how we can display respect and gratitude to our host.
Thank you, as always, for reading!
